A divorce, separation or, in general, any loss of an important relationship is a painful experience. Such pain can seriously diminish our peace and happiness. We can, however, use this inner discomfort for our spiritual benefit. If we are thinking of separating, there are many lessons we need to examine before we can come to the conclusion that we must separate from someone. But if the other leaves us or this separation has already happened, we might be able to benefit from the following.
1. Our first lesson is to examine our behavior to see how we might have contributed to the problem. Only in this way can we create a new healthy relationship if we chose to. In relation to this we might want to examine the following: a. We may have been criticizing, complaining, rejecting or otherwise causing the other to feel unaccepted. b. We may have been seeking continual affirmation in ways that may have been tiring for the other. c. Our fears may have been causing us to be over sensitive and annoying. d. Perhaps we were playing games of power, who is right or who is more successful. e. We might have been playing roles such as the child, the parent, the savior, the holy one, the rebel, the teacher or some other role which may have affected the other’s behavior. f. We may have guilt feelings that were making us vulnerable to the other’s words or behaviors. g. Perhaps we were not communicating our needs clearly and effectively as an adult and were suppressing ourselves or complaining, criticizing or threatening. h. We might have been projecting onto the other our childhood or other experiences. i. The other might have been reflecting back to us our lack of self-esteem or self-respect. j. We may have attachments that were coming between us. k. We may have inner conflicts, which were reflecting back to us from the other.
2. We may need to learn to love the other in spite of his or her behavior, regardless of whether we stay with that person or not.
3. We can discover that we can live without this person and that happiness, security and love are internal states that are always within us, if only we allow ourselves to experience them.
4. We can use this opportunity to develop greater inner strength so as to feel confident and able to face whatever may come to us in the game of life.
5. Most of us will need to change our self-image. We need now to learn to accept, love and respect ourselves more, so that we do not create the same problem in our next relationship or in life in general.
6. By directing our energies in a spiritual direction and developing a relationship with God - the Universal Being, we are no longer so vulnerable or so dependent on others for our feelings of security and self-worth.
7. We may also need to learn that the other’s decision to leave may not be a rejection at all. He or she may love and respect us dearly but be forced by other needs to seek happiness elsewhere.
Our lessons might be separated into five categories:
1. We might need to learn to communicate more effectively, assertively and lovingly.
2. Perhaps we need to let go of some attachments, which are increasing our conflicts with others and diminishing our happiness.
3. Examine our behaviors that might be annoying the other.
4. Free ourselves from subconscious programmings, which limit our self-esteem and ability to attract the behaviors that we deserve.
5. Develop inner feelings of security, self worth and freedom.
Once our happiness, security and love have become internalized, we can experience unconditional love.
Although we need to make every possible step to heal our relationships, if and when a relationship breaks down, there is still much we can learn.
Adult Matchmaker Australia
Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach. Over 600 free article and lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/
Article Source : www.ArticlesBase.com
Technorati Tags: Adult Matchmaker, adult matchmaker
More Related Dating Articles From This Website....
- Here Are Some Not-so Casual Date Ideas
- How To Attract Women With Your Attitude
- Wooing verse Courtship
- Handling Your First Online Date
- How to Write a Sizzling Personal Profile
- Words Of Love - What Your Girlfriend Is Really Trying To Tell You!
Heterosexual attraction comes close to relationships when people started to go out on a date. That is, when a man and a woman had both decided to try seeing each other in a social context, where the primary persons involved are just the two of them. These things comprises on the truth about dating. The only ...
If there was one magic pill that you could pop to make yourself more attractive to women, would you take it? Chances are, most men would give answer with a resounding yes. After all, who has the time to keep up with the countless dating advice and tips handed out by dating gurus who promise that by ...
As I spread the word about conscious dating and conscious relationships I'm amazed that not everyone agrees with me. I'm learning that for some singles "conscious" is a turnoff. OK, it's just a word, so if Conscious Dating doesn't work let's use another one to get our point across. How about "Courtship?" Now there's an old-fashioned ...
You have successfully registered with a dating site and are now all geared for your first online date. Remember, first impression is the last impression; your first online date has to be no less than perfect. Follow the tips mentioned below to start good on your first date online. Tips for an effective first online date: Before...
Your profile is the first and perhaps the most important online dating tool. It is what makes prospects decide to contact you (or not to). Follow these tips to create a sizzling personal profile that stands out from the crowd. First make a rough draft of your profile on a piece of paper or a word...
Do you sometimes have trouble understanding exactly what your girlfriend means when you meet or talk to her? Don't worry, the following is a humorous and irreverent translation designed to enable you to understand the nuances and sub-plots of her conversations. It provides clear, albeit outrageous examples of what the fairer sex REALLY means when she...
Trackback URL for this post:
http://www.adultsonlymatchmaker.com.au/adult_matchmaker/learning-from-a-relationship-breakup/27/trackback/
Posted by Jaron... Dating Tips at 11:07 AM EST
