As I spread the word about conscious dating and conscious relationships I’m amazed that not everyone agrees with me. I’m learning that for some singles “conscious” is a turnoff.

OK, it’s just a word, so if Conscious Dating doesn’t work let’s use another one to get our point across. How about “Courtship?” Now there’s an old-fashioned term few can take issue with!

According to the dictionary, Courtship means 1. The act, process, or period of courting. 2. Specialized behavior that leads to or initiates mating.

By contrast, Wooing means 1. To seek the affection of with intent to romance. 2a. To seek to achieve; try to gain. b. To tempt or invite. 3. To entreat, solicit, or importune.

So here’s my take on the difference- Courtship is a conscious process of selecting and building a relationship with a potential life partner, and wooing is pursuing someone you’re highly attracted to with a specific goal in mind; typically sex or to “get” the man or woman in some way.

Wooing seems romantic and desireable to some folks. To me it seems self-centered and impulsive. You are pursuing what YOU want based upon your feelings of attraction and immediate goals for sex, companionship, etc, and you’ve decided that THIS person is your target. People who woo are concerned with what they can do and say to accomplish their immediate goal.

Courtship takes the long view, respecting your potential life partner as someone to get to know and determine mutual fit over time. In our culture being patient and delaying gratification is undervalued.

Courtship means you’re honest with yourself and the person you’re courting about your intentions, and they are interested in you as well. When you’re authentic there is a risk of rejection, which might be why wooing seems more attractive to some singles.

Conscious Dating means to be clear and intentional about dating. If you are simply seeking sex, that’s OK, we call it “Recreational Dating” and recommend being honest about it. In spite of your scarcity fears, you’ll find plenty of takers if you know where to look (such as Craig’s List “Casual Encounters”). If you don’t like to think of this as being “conscious,” then go ahead and call it “wooing!” If you’re single and seeking your life partner, I will stick to my guns and continue advocating being conscious, intentional, and authentic if your goal is to find the love of your life and the life that you love.

What does it mean to be ‘Conscious?’

1. Unconscious (awake but unaware)

This is when you forget where you put your keys, leave the headlights on and are surprised by a dead battery, drive past your freeway exit, etc. You’re simply not paying attention.

If life is like an iceberg, when we’re unconscious we crash and sink before we see it.

2. Semi-conscious (aware of what’s in front of you)

This is when you’re sure you know what’s what. We believe that our stories (beliefs, interpretations, etc) and sensory perceptions (see, hear, feel, etc) are true and correct.

If life is like an iceberg, when we’re semi-conscious we’re aware of the iceberg and truly believe we know how to avoid it, then crash and sink because it’s larger than we thought.

3. Conscious (aware of the big picture)

This is when we humbly understand that ‘you don’t know what you don’t know,’ and realize that there may be more to a situation than we can see or understand at the time. We are aware of our goal and do our best to learn more about the situation and examine our options to make the best possible choice.

If life is like an iceberg, when we’re conscious we realize that we need to know more about what’s under the surface before making our choices about how to proceed.

Adult Matchmaker Australia

David Steele’s new book Conscious Dating is the culmination of 25 years of experience in helping thousands of singles and couples get what they want from a relationship.

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Posted by Jaron... Dating Tips at 9:39 AM EST

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The world of dating has gotten out of hand. They have allowed for women to give us guys seven minutes to win them over in what they call “speed dating”. So much for foreplay. I mean seriously, whatever happened to the wine me, dine me days of dating.

You would be able to meet a nice girl on line at a grocery store, say something kind of witty then entice the girl to gladly exchange phone numbers. After a couple of phone calls and the getting to know you are not a psycho stage you could then work up to inviting this nice young lady to dinner. All this has changed. Now instead of exchanging phone numbers it becomes “Are you on online?”

At first I was like how impersonal, you would rather stare at my hot pics online then see me in the flesh??? You would rather send me e-mail at 2 O’clock in the morning than be enjoying cocktails and conversation at the local bar??? What has the world of dating become?

It has become an online dating world. You are actually more likely to meet someone interested in dating on the computer than at the convenience store. This does not mean that you have to go to an online dating service and pay tons of membership fees to pick up ladies but these services almost always guarantee a hook up. You can go the route of the free networking sites but there are no sure things.

Out of my own personal experience the first connection I made in the online dating world was with one of these paid services. I made a profile, and let the women seek me out. This cute Latino girl e-mailed me. I messaged her back, we met, had dinner and some laughs.

It was a home run. Not bad to bat 1.000 as a rookie. I did find though, people solely looking to date through these paid online dating services were really looking for a “serious commitment.

Think about it, if a girl is going to throw down some money to meet someone, it is not because they want to select their next booty call, they want Prince Charming, The White Wedding and they want to live happily ever after. I personally did not want that kind of pressure or expectations, as I do not like to break hearts so I found a different route.

I signed up for an account at one of the major blog networks. They may as well be called “Dating Blogs”. Not only do you have a great opportunity to meet nice lovely ladies of all races, shapes and sizes but you can do so without having to spend any money. You can browse through all the profiles of ladies meeting your specified search criteria in a radius close to home.

After narrowing down your search you can check out their page which allows the girls to create some pretty interesting sites with music, pictures and all different types of “spirit”. Here the girls will make you earn their acquaintance but I find that they also are more down to earth. While I haven’t hooked- up with any of these girls, I have made some good friends that have potential.

While the initial introduction might have moved from meeting a nice girl on line at the supermarket to meeting the girl of your dreams online at the “Super Meat Market of Dating” at least the stores in cyber space never close and you can do your “shopping” from home. While there were several pros and con to each type of online service, remember the goal is for the actual date, or is it?

Adult Matchmaker Australia

Christine Hancock… http://www.onlinedating.pn

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