If you want to succeed with internet dating, an online romantic interest should be seen as a potential dating partner. Once it is established that there is a potential for a relationship, you and your online lover should try communicating on the phone and then meet in person.
Because of its physical limitations, internet relationships are considered ‘incomplete’ or seen as a transition to real-life dating. While it may be argued whether or not humans can experience the wholeness of another individual through a screen and keyboard, a person who meets potential dates online must be prepared to meet them offline as well. Keep in mind that people online tend to experiment with their identities - something that is not always intentional.
Often, people feel satisfied by an internet relationship not because this relationship is really successful, but because their subconscious inclinations and fantasies are temporarily satisfied. That’s why once these relationships move into the offline world, some of them are destined to crumble. They realize that they cannot physically live the online fantasy they have created.
Also, the image of the ‘perfect partner’ is often projected in the internet, and your expectations aren’t met when you meet the person face-to-face. The solution to these raised expectations is to keep your online interactions grounded in real life. Yes, fantasies can be healthy, but not when you expect them to completely translate into your real life.
People are naturally imperfect, so there’s no reason for you to expect Hollywood endings and celebrity looks from your online partner.
Tips for Your First Offline Meeting
Meeting your online partner in person for the first time can be nerve-wracking and confusing. You usually worry if they’re up to your expectations or if you’re up to theirs. Sometimes you also worry if your partner will show up at all. Whatever concerns you may have, make sure that you stay relaxed throughout the process and that you don’t worry too much.
Here are some tips that can help you feel more comfortable with the Online-to-Offline transition of your relationship:
Have a phone conversation first before meeting.
This phone conversation can take place anytime during your online relationship. If you think it’ll make you feel more at ease, you can call your online lover a few hours or so before the meeting takes place. You can let him or her know what you’re wearing, how you can be easily identified, etc. When you hear your lover’s voice on the phone, seeing and hearing them in person won’t come as a big shock to you. Meet in a neutral place.
Asking your online lover to pick you up at home is a no-no for your first offline meeting. It’s best to meet in a casual public place that will allow you to talk and get used to each other’s company. Meeting your online lover in his or her apartment or workplace can also be stressful, so make sure that you meet in an area that neither of you consider as your ‘turf’.
If you haven’t exchanged photos yet, now would be a good time
Seeing each other’s recent photographs will help you identify each other in a crowd more easily. Nothing is creepier than a guy walking around the park asking a random woman if she’s the one he’s looking to meet. Looking at your online lover’s photo also helps you become more realistic in terms of your expectations. Make sure that you are comfortable about your meeting arrangements.
You shouldn’t make a commitment to meet in a time and place that you’re not comfortable with. Don’t let yourself be forced into making arrangements that you don’t like. Think of what’s convenient and comfortable for you, and try to find a schedule that you both agree with. This will definitely help your mood when you meet, and you won’t feel as tense.
Also, being forced into something is not a great way to start a relationship. Keep things casualTry not to talk about traumatizing relationships or childhood memories on your first meeting. Also, don’t feel pressured into having sex on your first date.
The first meeting of online lovers is usually for the sake of familiarization. You have to get to know each other first and to be comfortable with each other’s company.
If you take these tips to heart and keep them in mind before your first meeting – you’ll definitely be on the right track. Your first offline meeting should be a fun, relaxing experience – you deserve nothing less than a great time!
If your an Aussie from down here in Australia… a great Oz dating site to check-out is Adult Matchmaker. A link to there website is located directly below this video, and thanks for watching.
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Posted by Jaron... Dating Tips at 1:18 PM EST